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Episode 12 of Sergeant Vardan and her patrol during the Pargunese invasion.
She ran forward, counting in her head…one, two, three…ten as she heard footsteps in the snow to either side, moving away. A few yells from the Pargunese; one of the lights went out, but more flared, closer now. Halt, re-span the bow, the bolt this time coming easily to her fingers and into position. She heard the others coming forward, then halting as well.
“Ready…now!” Again they shot. “Back twenty!” When they regrouped, she shifted them thirty paces to summerwards, and repeated the pattern–a volley at the lights, then forward and another volley, then back. The Pargunese were making a lot of noise–if only she’d known Pargunese. Orders being shouted, questions, responses. Suddenly, above them, she heard the thin, deadly whistle of falling bolts. “Overhead! Shields!” They had only a few shields left–she didn’t have one–a helmet was no protection–she heard them hit–some on the snow, some with the distinctive wet crunch of armor and bone and human flesh. The survivors dragged the fallen back to the trees, silently, as Vardan directed. Vardan herself fumbled in the snow for the bolts she’d heard land near him, finding only two she could pull out by the fletched ends.
They lost six to the blind volley…five in the head, one in the shoulder that went down through lung and heart. Berol, Little Tam, Mol, Segre, Celin, Lir. Vardan thumbed their eyes closed, and they all recited two prayers to Falk and one to Alyanya, as they laid the bodies out decently. Several rangers brought boughs to lay on them. Vardan hoped their own four volleys had done at least that much damage to the Pargunese.
As the snow continued to sift down through the trees, Vardan prepared to endure another cold, uncomfortable night. The rangers reported that the nearest shelter was a half-day’s walk away–in daylight. They did know where a low rise supported evergreens, and soon they were all crammed in under the low hanging boughs of a clump of cedars. The rangers had left observers nearer the farmstead; Vardan let her people sleep, if they could; if the Pargunese moved in the night, let them. She fell asleep at last.
Morning brought a cold fog between the trees; the snow had stopped. One of the rangers had a tiny fire going on the back side of the rise. He said they were far enough from the farmstead that the smoke wouldn’t be seen, and he’d started a pot of sib. One by one the Halverics woke up, ate a meagre breakfast of dried fish from Pargunese packs, and had each a few swallows of sib, but she could tell they felt as she did–nowhere near full.
Would the Pargunese move that day, or was there enough food to feed them for several days? If that smokehouse had been full–and the dairy and granary–winter stores for the twenty or thirty who lived there–perhaps they would stay…they had looked burdened enough and they had no wagons. She could not imagine those riders dismounting to use the horses as pack animals.
If they stayed, she should take her troops on south to Chaya, meet up with the king or Aliam or whoever was coming. But if they moved, she should help the rangers slow them on the way.
The ranger put his hand on the ground, where he’d brushed the snow away. “The king’s coming,” he said.
Vardan put her own hand down, but felt nothing. “How do you know?”
“The taig. It is pleased. That bad fire was stopped, and the taig has recovered enough for me to sense it as more than just anguish. The Lady is again in our land as well.” The ranger smiled, a relaxed smile this time. “She will heal the land; the king will defend it.”
……………………………………………………………………………
And that is the end of the 12 snippets…for anything more would be spoilerish.
Comment by Corinne — January 5, 2012 @ 12:30 am
Thank you! What a wonderful Epiphany gift! 🙂
Comment by elizabeth — January 5, 2012 @ 12:54 am
You’re very welcome!
Comment by Wickersham's Conscience — January 5, 2012 @ 12:57 am
An excellent 12 Days of Christmas. Thanks you very much, and a most happy and successful new year to you.
Comment by Eir de Scania — January 5, 2012 @ 12:59 am
Thank you! It’s so nice to read this extras.
Comment by Caryn — January 5, 2012 @ 1:20 am
Thank you for this!
Comment by Ed Schoenfeld — January 5, 2012 @ 1:21 am
Yes, thank you. Just the taste of that world I’d been pining for.
Comment by Moira — January 5, 2012 @ 1:42 am
Thank you again, Elizabeth, this was wonderful. I’m now thoroughly back in “Paks mode” and jonesing for the new book… can’t wait!
Comment by iphinome — January 5, 2012 @ 5:12 am
Thank you Lady, I enjoyed that side story.
Comment by bonnie holmes — January 5, 2012 @ 5:37 am
this is why i read all your stories,you hook me into the story every times.thank you,i enjoyed them very much.can’t wait to read the book when it comes in.
Comment by Kathleen — January 5, 2012 @ 6:33 am
Loved it and am counting down to Echos release date.
Comment by Anne — January 5, 2012 @ 6:36 am
Wonderful!
what an excellent way to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. Thank you!
Looking forward to what comes next.
🙂
Comment by Jenn — January 5, 2012 @ 7:05 am
Thank you so very much this was a great side story.
Comment by Mary E Cowart — January 5, 2012 @ 7:31 am
Thank you so much for this twelve days of Christmas gift. I will treasure it. I have enjoyed it.
May you and your family have a blessed and prosperous New Year.
Comment by Kerry aka Trouble — January 5, 2012 @ 7:36 am
Thank you for a wonderful 12 snippets – this has been a great way to wake up in the morning.
Comment by Gustovcarl — January 5, 2012 @ 7:42 am
Echoing all of the above. What a treat.
Thank you.
Comment by Naomi — January 5, 2012 @ 8:00 am
Thoroughly enjoyable, just got time to reread Paks and Oath and Kingdom before the new book is out over here in Europe! Thanks again, Elizabeth and a very happy new year to you.
Comment by Rolv — January 5, 2012 @ 8:21 am
Adding my thanks to the crowd.
Sincerely looking forward to Echoes!
Started rereading Oath a few days ago.
Happy new year and blessed Epiphany.
Rolv
Comment by ajlr — January 5, 2012 @ 8:26 am
Thank you, Elizabeth, I very much enjoyed the snippets.
Comment by Richard — January 5, 2012 @ 8:26 am
I’ve saved all 12 together in one Word document for future re-reading. Thank you.
Comment by Richard — January 5, 2012 @ 8:37 am
A more general comment on the books (while thinking back to Vardan in the ditch): thank you for putting the scariness back into dragons.
Comment by Jonathan Schor — January 5, 2012 @ 8:55 am
Let me also add my thanks for some wonderful writing.
Comment by elizabeth — January 5, 2012 @ 9:02 am
Thank to all of you for reading the snippets–and I’m very glad you enjoyed them. There’ll be a few days of silence, probably, while I hunt around for something else (and work on Book IV.)
Comment by B. Ross Ashley — January 5, 2012 @ 10:51 am
I was waiting as fast as I could … now I’m waiting faster.
Comment by twopenny — January 5, 2012 @ 11:01 am
I’ve got both the real book and the kindle edition on preorder, so If I can’t pick up the hardcover immediately I’ll at least be able to start in when it comes out. (Much prefer the physical books, though the kindle is handy when traveling for more that a weekend as I’d need a baggage elephant to carry my emergency reading supplies for a week!
Comment by Annabel (Mrs Redboots) — January 5, 2012 @ 1:49 pm
Thank you! Can’t wait for the new book – have been buying some of your backlist off of Baen for my Kindle.
Comment by RuthB — January 5, 2012 @ 2:27 pm
Thank you for these 12 days of snippets! So very enjoyable to read and reflect on what to look forward to in Echoes. Loved the ending…the King is coming!
Best wishes for a wonderful new year for you and yours.
Comment by RichardB — January 5, 2012 @ 3:15 pm
Thank you again for these!
Comment by Kathy_S — January 5, 2012 @ 5:12 pm
What a fine present!
*also looking forward to book III*
Comment by John Hicks — January 5, 2012 @ 6:09 pm
Thank you for twelve wonderful snippets. Thank you for a wonderful beginning to 2012. Happy New Year Ms Moon.
Comment by Linda — January 5, 2012 @ 6:40 pm
Lovely gift! Thank you.
I will be on the road in February with my Mom and will order the physical book at my favorite independent book store for when I get home. Thank goodness I’ll be able to get the e-book too so I can plunge in right away.
Guess I’ll need to get all of the Paks books as e-books so that I can read the new and then go right back and start in all over again. I want to be able to appreciate the “arc.”
Again many thanks.
Comment by Adam Baker — January 5, 2012 @ 8:24 pm
Thank you! These have been very enjoyable to read.
Comment by Tkil — January 5, 2012 @ 9:48 pm
I’ll join the chorus of “thank you”s!
And only 2-3 months left until Book III — yay!
I didn’t notice it the first time someone else mentioned it, but there’s another pronoun gender issue with this snippit: “Vardan herself fumbled in the snow for the bolts she’d heard land near him, finding only two she could pull out by the fletched ends.”
I know these are just snippits, but if you ever wanted to collect them into an odds-and-ends book (please!), (1) you’d have a pre-built list of trivial copy-edits, and (2) you’d have quite a few of us ready to order it.
Thanks again, and have a great new year!
Comment by elizabeth — January 5, 2012 @ 10:14 pm
Fossils. Dadgum fossils. Thought I’d made all the changes.
How-things-get-written dept.: In the original version of this, the Halveric sergeant was male. With a different name. But a friend of mine in choir announced she was retiring from years of military service and moving to a far corner of the country with her husband. Changing the character’s gender, giving a Halveric sergeant a penchant for collecting distinctive jewelry, and giving the character a fantasy world equivalent to her name–was my retirement gift to her.
Look at the dedication of _Kings of the North_ and thank her and her husband for their service.
Comment by Daniel Glover — January 6, 2012 @ 8:38 am
Fossils, I didn’t recall seeing another post from this series. But I, too, also compiled all these (and all the other “snippets”) into a document which I have yet to figure out the chronological period or see if the snippets from the books are verbatim. So early in the cycle for Kings were preceded by comments that they might not make the final revision.
Anyway, I only found two other “himself/herself” for Vardan. December 25th “heaved himself” and December 29th “told himself”. I didn’t notice them the first through reading since I’d already told myself Vardan is female.
Thank you for the side story. If these 7000 words didn’t make the final cut and couldn’t fit in as a prelude to Echoes the book certainly is of high quality.
Thank you.
Comment by elizabeth — January 6, 2012 @ 10:03 am
Daniel, the reason for cuts varies. Sometimes it is quality: the clumsy sentence gets cut and a better one written. More often it’s balance–just as “eggs” are a perfectly fine ingredient in many cakes, but doubling the number of eggs (or any other ingredient)won’t improve (and may ruin) the cake. A whole book must have all its parts in balance, or it falters. The best-written sequence in the world, if too big for that part of the book, will unbalance the whole. This was several dozen eggs where three would’ve been about right.
A different problem from finding that one egg in the dozen is rotten.
In short fiction, balance is much easier, because you can see all the parts at once–you can read the short story in a few minutes, and will notice that 4 of 7 pages are taken up with a digression. In long fiction–from novel to multi-volume–it’s harder to know when 4 pages are too much for a given element. Sometimes 4 pages work. Sometimes they don’t. But 7000 words that’s not on the main plotline with one of the main characters is…long. Is the character going to be elevated to main-character POV status? How does this character relate to other main characters, now and in the past? If new-main, why hasn’t this character come to prominence before? What is this character’s forward arc? Someone who arises from obscurity and sinks back into obscurity–and for whom 7-10,000 words covers the arc of “non-obscurity”–doesn’t need to be taking up 7000 words. Especially true for someone whose chronology places them at a very prominent place in the book (beginning, end, “turning points.” A major character should be in that position.
This is not something I knew about analytically when I started writing novels, so more than once my editors have had to restrain my enthusiasm for minor character (or their enthusiasm when they found themselves onstage.) For instance, some very minor characters in Vatta’s War, who existed basically to die unexpectedly and create a suspicion, originally had long, intricate backstories. Editors wisely said “Walk-on part, is seen only dying, cut all this.” Away went addictions from drugs to gambling, sad stories about ailing parents needing special care, spendthrift spouses and housemates, and other sordid reasons why people get in with the wrong other people and end up being blackmailed and then killed so they can’t testify.
Comment by OtterB — January 6, 2012 @ 10:49 am
Another thanks for these snippets. And, in answer to a question you asked much earlier, I like this better than “teaser” snippets from the main story line which generally have to be much shorter to avoid spoilers.
Comment by Patrick Doris — January 6, 2012 @ 12:04 pm
those were very intriguing snippets If you ever had the time /desire /funding for a Paksworld Anthology these not quite right fragments would be ideal.
Thank you posting such a fine Christmas gift for your fans
Comment by Bridgett — January 6, 2012 @ 2:24 pm
Thank you!
Comment by patricia nancarrow — January 6, 2012 @ 6:22 pm
Hooray, the King is coming. Thank you Elizabeth, what a great way to wake each morning and receive my wonderful snippet,it felt like Christmas all over again.
Comment by Nigel — January 7, 2012 @ 1:57 am
Thanks for the present. Maybe she is due for a book of her own when you finish the series, or maybe a book of “short stories” where you include several of these type of snippets.
Just started to introduce some colleagues to your work and expect you will have more loyal readers.
Must restart rereading the series again for the nth time.
Comment by Nigel — January 8, 2012 @ 10:49 am
By the way I can not recall how it changed from having the Elven King to having the Lady in charge of the Elves. Is this going to be explained in the new books?
Comment by elizabeth — January 8, 2012 @ 12:06 pm
There were at one time many elvenhomes, each of which had its ruler, who might be male or female. There was no overall king or queen, though humans tended to call any one ruler by that title. The Lady was always the ruler of the Ladysforest. The Lordsforest, in the far west, had a male ruler. The distinguishing mark of an elvenhome ruler was the ability to present their vision (but it wasn’t all visual) of the elvenhome so compellingly that other elves joined in to make that a reality, rather than pursuing their own ideas. Those with that ability were considered to be gifted by the Singer and to be Singing one of the Singer’s Songs.
Thus each elvenhome represents the imagination and understanding of its ruler-elf more than of the others, who work under the elvenhome ruler to bring that one’s song into reality. In their belief, the world was not created in perfection, but the elves were given the task of making it (or rather singing it) into beauty. They were never all alike, elvenhomes, and to enter into one was to enter into its ruler’s conception of beauty and harmony…into its ruler’s song.
Comment by pjm — January 9, 2012 @ 2:17 am
In Legacy of Gird there is reference to a Lordsforest, and in Deed of Paksenarrion there is reference to Kingsforest and Westforest. I imagine these are different names for the same place – after all human languages and names change in both time and place.
Peter
Comment by Jenn — January 9, 2012 @ 11:34 am
I love the idea of different elven homes!!!
Mine would be a wide open field, tall grass, wild flowers of all kinds, bees, butterflies, perhaps a small lake and the occasional copse of fruit-bearing trees.
Comment by Jill — January 11, 2012 @ 11:09 am
Hi, First time poster here.
Thank you so much for posting this little story about Varden. I only found your books last year, after getting a kindle. I’m really looking forward to the next Paks world book. I’ve got it on order already.
Comment by elizabeth — January 11, 2012 @ 11:34 am
Welcome to the blog, Jill. You might also enjoy wandering around the Paksworld website, if you haven’t discovered it already. There’s quite a bit of background information on the books, and I’ll be putting up more when Book IV has been turned in.