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Agent had some worthwhile comments on Book IV which sent it back to me for more work. This will result in an added chapter early in the book and the “perking up” (my term, not Agent’s) of some fairly large chunks considered “flat” as well as showing one character more active and tough than before (hadn’t realized that character had softened that much between books.) Some of that will involve shortening, and some will involve lengthening, as usual. Agent has contacted Editor, who gave permission for an extension to do the work he suggested, pointing out that we could send her the version I sent him today, or a better version in ten days. (Agent has had the book since January 20 and I appreciate the fast, analytical reading Agent gave it. )
So I’m back at work on Book IV, having started on Book V last night. Already 1700 words into the new chapter, after fixing things recommended in Chapters 1-3. (And Agent didn’t call at break of day, so this is actually a solid afternoon’s work.)
Music for the work right now is Stanford’s orchestral music. The Bach organ music I had in already was too sombre and not right for the first part of the book, sep. not the new chapter. Arcolin is not a Bach mind.
Back at it. I’d like to finish this chapter tonight. It’s fascinating to me that when I go into a period of time (be it an hour, day, week, or quarter year) there’s always stuff there waiting to be written about. In this case, I’m finding out why a certain count’s father hated Kieri (or one of the reasons) and why this count doesn’t hate Arcolin and wants a favor from him. All sorts of details are unfolding that I didn’t have in the original text but are compatible. There will have to be adjustments down the line, though. If Count Halar’s son does go to the Company as a junior squire, then he will have to be there later. Hmmm. We’ll see.
Comment by Jonathan Schor — January 30, 2012 @ 7:43 pm
Is the revision for literary or commercial reasons? Just curious.
Comment by elizabeth — January 30, 2012 @ 8:04 pm
False dichotomy, Jonathan. Many literary reasons have a commercial effect: flat or boring scenes, confusing scenes, all impair a reader’s enjoyment–and that is both a literary flaw and will have a negative impact on commercial success. I consider all today’s comment to be primarily aimed at improving the book as a story (in other words literary) but Agent and I both know that better story makes for more commercial success.
Comment by elizabeth — January 30, 2012 @ 10:28 pm
Over 2500 words new text today, plus the changes in three chapters. Progress.
Comment by Sharidann — January 31, 2012 @ 10:50 am
How long have you worked together with this agent?
And do you accept what he says every time or do you sometimes argue with him when you do not agree?
Anyway, keep it up! Counting the days till Echoes of Betrayal comes out… 🙂
Comment by elizabeth — January 31, 2012 @ 11:11 am
Agent has been my agent since…1986, I think it is. Do I always accept everything he says? No. Have we argued? Sure. However, he’s got a really solid grasp of Story, and when he says “This that you were worried about? You were right to worry. Here’s one solution…but you need to do *something* to get it going” I listen.
My personal rule (just mine: not imposing it on anyone) is that if three amateur (not working in publishing) readers trip over something, I must fix it. Individual amateur readers are often not aware of their own hot buttons, and may trip on something particular to themselves…so I don’t change things just for one. (There are exceptions to that. But not many.)
But professional (working in publishing as writer, editor, agent) readers have read stuff the public never sees (slush, unedited ms.) and they have worked with material to make it better. They are also (nearly all) aware of their own quirks and hot buttons, and do not mistake an “OMG, not a !**! UNICORN” kneejerk loathing for unicorn stories for a problem that makes a story less readable. They can assess stories they don’t particularly like (subject matter, character, etc.) coolly and accurately, setting their like/dislike aside.
So. If one–just one–pro reader trips on something, I give it a very hard look and fix it. (This is not always true with cuts-for-length-alone, but usually even there.) I do not take all recommended fixes immediately–I may fix a problem some other way–but I will work on it.
The underlying message here was that Agent liked the book a lot, but some parts weren’t as good as most of it. As it happened, those were–mostly–parts I’d struggled with repeatedly. His analysis gave me a way to go forward with some confidence that *this time* they’d be better afterward. After all, I sent it to him and not directly to Editor because I wanted his opinion, and wanted to catch anything “big” before Editor saw it.
Back to work now.
Comment by elizabeth — January 31, 2012 @ 2:15 pm
So…starting C-10’s revision, I ran across a character description that now hits me wrong. Am I just tired? Or is it that boring? Does anyone really CARE about Oktar’s haircut? Is it plot relevant? Um…no.
Comment by Ed Schoenfeld — January 31, 2012 @ 2:57 pm
Given your reply #5, does that mean the Plot Daemon is serving up unicorns in this story?
fx: runs and hides /fx
Comment by Jenn — January 31, 2012 @ 4:05 pm
Back to the knitting analogy. This is like a sweater I once made when I tried it on there were problems not obvious when it was on the needles and it had to be picked apart and thought over and reknit to fit correctly. I just had to do 2500 stitches instead of words.
I am glad you have a trusted agent who can spot where you want to go with stories and characters.
Comment by elizabeth — January 31, 2012 @ 6:08 pm
Ed: No unicorns in this book, though by ritual disclaimer I’m not violently opposed to unicorns, as long as they aren’t cutesy. I used “unicorns” because I once heard an editor declaring (in private) how much that editor hated unicorns, never wanted to see another story about a unicorn, etc, etc., and then say (basically and without spoilering who or what about) “but of course, I got this submission and much as I hate unicorns…damn, the story was good. So now I’m editing a unicorn story.”
Whereas, I’ve heard non-pro readers declare that a book was horrible and when they said why, it was the equivalent of “It had a unicorn in it.”
Jenn: For a knitting analogy closer to what I’ve been doing…there’s not time in the few days I have to really unpick and reknit the whole. So imagine knitting a separate patch (the new chapter) in colorwork that will match when it’s Kitchenered in, after very carefully opening a seam (chapter break) and then, from chapters that need it, magically removing chunks of accidental pattern repeats and knitting/crocheting in invisible replacements. The ripping up and rewriting was what I did all through January until I sent it off. This is emergency “The opera is tonight and someone spilled bleach on the soprano’s elaborate 17th c. costume in five places.”
Comment by Kevin Steverson — January 31, 2012 @ 7:48 pm
Ma’am,
Off topic….well sorta, anyway. Do you only listen to classical music? Or do you slip in a little country music now and then?…maybe the BeeGees? I only ask because I just played the BeeGees “Too much Heavan”….4 times in a row….amazing Falsetto Harmony…if that is even the proper term…
Comment by elizabeth — January 31, 2012 @ 9:01 pm
Kevin: Mostly classical, some instrumental (folk, bagpipes, etc.) others. I can’t listen to vocal music other than choral stuff I haven’t personally sung (IOW, music that acts like orchestral) while writing. The words conflict with the words of the story. As for pop vocals–I’ve never liked falsetto male voices, not even as a kid. There are tenors I can stand, but I like men’s deep voices better. (Obviously, in a boys’ choir, the voices are higher. But a boy soprano, to me, is a whole different kettle of fish from a grown man singing falsetto.)
I think of country music as traveling music–if I’m driving a long way, and the car has a tape player that works (car radios/players seem to wear out with appalling swiftness) then I may well put in a Willie Nelson tape in between classical. (Don’t ask me to explain. Willie starts singing “If You Have the Money, Honey,” or “Good-hearted Woman” and I’m grinning like a ‘possum and have to keep my foot on the gas lighter than it wants to be.
Which is why we need lots of different musicians & styles around, because we aren’t all wired the same way.
Comment by Ed Schoenfeld — February 1, 2012 @ 12:47 pm
Thank you for the kind reply.
I agree that it requires commitment and skill to overcome one’s personal preferences when evaluating a story (or other writing). Besides, the professional likely has a suite of other talents that apply (though any given amateur may have one or more of the same talents, your 3:1 ratio sounds reasonable.)
And I agree that Unicorns don’t seem to fit in PAksworld. At least not yet (but you *are* 2+ books ahead of most of us . . . )
Comment by elizabeth — February 1, 2012 @ 1:03 pm
If an amateur I know to be an expert in some field says “That weapon never fired that caliber of ammunition; here are the references from the relevant munitions manual” or “No, that king’s wife’s name was Edwitha not Edwertha” or “You’ve got the wrong formula for that compound” then yes–I fix it. I depend on some experts for their expertise–but not for their literary skill (unless they have that, too.) That’s why there are exceptions to the 3:1 ratio.
Unicorns. Well. Way far, far, FAR back in the early days of that universe, there were unicorns. And dragons. And a very….strange…relationship between them. Other than that, my lips are sealed.
Comment by Jim Elgar — February 1, 2012 @ 3:32 pm
I picked up my “Kings of the North” paperback today,so hardbound can go on shelf. Also ordered “Echoes” from B+N. Hard time waiting.
Comment by Jenn — February 2, 2012 @ 8:47 am
Willie Nelson. Huh. I love being surprised by people.
Comment by David — February 2, 2012 @ 4:46 pm
So, unicorns are like the little birds that clean the teeth of crocodiles? And their horns are really used to dislodge nutritious unicorn snacks from deep in the… nevermind.
Comment by elizabeth — February 2, 2012 @ 5:13 pm
Tch-tch-tch. If you think to shake loose ancient secrets from me by uttering arrant nonsense…not working.
Although, out of the kindness of my heart, I will warn you that you are in danger of rousing the League of Extraordinary Unicorn Lovers, who just might take after you.
Comment by MaryW — February 2, 2012 @ 5:47 pm
I am a tenor fan from the cradle. My parents found that I would stop fussing as soon as they found one on the radio. But since I hear in perfect pitch they must be very good and most likely sing opera. Personally, I am a contralto and since tenors and sopranos usually sing the melody it helps me hear the harmony.
Comment by elizabeth — February 2, 2012 @ 6:12 pm
Jenn: Well, what can I say? I don’t know why, I only know that the first time I heard that voice on the radio I wanted more. It’s not the kind of voice, or music, I usually like. But there’s something–the very growliness of it.
Mary W: A really good tenor can get me going, too…but…even as a kid, listening to my mother’s records, it was the baritones and basses that really got me.
Comment by Jenn — February 3, 2012 @ 7:31 am
Elizabeth, I think it is great.
Comment by elizabeth — February 5, 2012 @ 12:06 am
Chapter 22 is driving me nuts. I’m going to bed.